Dear Post Man:I think my boyfriend is trying to sabotage my diet. I keep trying to lose weight but he insists on always going out for huge meals or cooking way too much food for us and it's never healthy stuff. I've tried talking to him about it but he says I need to relax. Any suggestions? Yes. Just say NO. When he brings out the lasagne, go and microwave a Lean Cuisine. When you go out for the huge meal, order healthy. But most importantly, tell him to knock it off. Make it very clear that you aren't going to eat what he is eating, and if you need to make separate meals, so be it. If he can't meet you halfway, then draw the line. If you live together it will be tough. But hold your ground, and go for it. And make very, very sure that you are not using him as an excuse...

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Mark, a 38-year-old musician, hoped to strike the right note with Melissa, 34, a public relations account supervisor. Even though the duo enjoyed their dinner at downtown brasserie Steak Frites, something was off-tune. Mark's rock-star lifestyle didn't mesh with Melissa's, but that doesn't mean these new friends won't be sharing more sweet treats in the future. He said: When I arrived at the restaurant, I immediately noticed Melissa's warm smile and bubbly personality. She was funny, flirtatious and cute - exactly what I was expecting. Melissa was so easy to talk to! There was never a lull in the conversation, but I do tend to talk a lot when I'm nervous. She was gracious enough to let me ramble on for much of the time, as I tried to make her laugh. Luckily, I succeeded! Over dinner, we chatted about our love of travel and tiramisu. We ordered a bunch of dishes and shared, making sure to leave room for a double portion of dessert because both of us have a serious sweet tooth. Melissa is a great gal, but our lives are sort of different - I work nights, she works days. I'm not sure how it would work between us. Still, I've already e-mailed...

PARTICIPATING IN OUR ROUNDTABLE:Stacy Kravetz, author of The Dating RaceRobert Rosenwein, Ph.D., sociology professor at Lehigh UniversityJeff, 29, teacher, New YorkHeather, 30, social worker, New YorkDiny, 31, student, MassachusettsQ: Let's face it: Weight is a hot button when it comes to dating. Let's hear what your experiences have been like.Stacy: There is such a weight phobia in this...