- Last Updated: 8:28 AM, July 19, 2012
- Posted: 1:30 AM, July 19, 2012
Bring it on, Weiner.
Proving that she’s the emasculating power behind the Jockey pouch boxer briefs, the wife of ex-Congressman Anthony Weiner, Huma Abedin, orchestrated a friendly and gauzy interview with People magazine.
But there was room for hilarity inside People’s moist bosom, as Huma tearfully uttered this unfortunate line:
“It took a lot of work to get to where we are today, but I want people to know we’re a normal family,” Huma, 37, said, while disturbingly parading the couple’s 6-month-old son, Jordan, like a pet prop.
Normal? Compared to whom? The Manson family?
Huma said, “I’m proud to be married to him. My husband did a really stupid thing.”
Stupid? Washing colors and whites in the same laundry load is stupid. Sexting chippies half his age pictures of his erratic, erect manhood is so narcissistically desperate and weird, I can’t believe I’m about to say this:
Maybe Weiner’s second coming (sorry) is an idea whose time has come (again, apologies).
Like many American househusbands, junk-centric Weiner, who resigned from Congress last year, can’t get a job and finds changing diapers smelly and unfulfilling. Meanwhile, his wife is starting to nag and kvetch. Pretty soon, she might drive Weiner back to the Internet.
The proof was in a creepy at-home photograph taken at the couple’s Manhattan apartment (they fled Queens, postscandal) in which Weiner issued a quiet cry for help. In the pic, Weiner’s face bears an agonized grin. His mouth says, “What, me worry?” but his eyes say, “Get me outta here!’’
Now Weiner, 47, is planning a comeback (oy). The dweeb who, after all, never got his jollies in the conventional sense wants to run for mayor or public advocate, as urgently as Alec Baldwin wants to punch out a photographer. Or me. And why not?
I’m not entirely alone in thinking he has a shot.
“He didn’t break any laws,” like escaped whorehound Eliot Spitzer, political consultant Hank Sheinkopf told me.
He also didn’t exchange bodily fluids, like Lewinsky-hound Bill Clinton.
“Will people forgive him for embarrassing himself and his family?” he said. “My answer is, yes they will. But it may be too early.”
In a sea of leftist mayoral candidates, Weiner distinguished himself as the most politically centrist. He endeared himself to me when he told Mayor Bloomberg, “When I become mayor, you know what I’m going to spend my first year doing? I’m going to have a bunch of ribbon cuttings tearing out your f--king bike lanes.”
He later tweeted that he was joking. But never trust Weintweets. Or denials.
Weiner told The Post our exclusive story about his wife planning fawning comeback interviews was “bulls--t.” Then he made it clear as a bulging tweet that he wants back into public life. And his wife wants him out of her hair.
“I can’t say absolutely that I will never run for public office again,” he backtracked, “but I’m very happy in my present life. I’m not doing anything to plan a campaign. The only next dramatic steps I’m planning are Jordan’s first.’’
Huma was quick to stress how domesticated Weiner had become, doing laundry. Giving the kid baths. “Anthony has spent every day since then trying to be the best dad and husband he can be.”
Just keep it in your pants, Tony. You might make it.