- Last Updated: 1:25 AM, June 7, 2012
- Posted: 11:50 PM, June 6, 2012
Tomorrow Greta Gerwig opens in “Lola Versus.” Friendly, easy, adorable, Greta’s a type I could love even if I don’t switch.
“I not only starred in this. I am The Star,” she said. “The whole thing’s around my character. It’s a breakout. I haven’t been in front of any movie before. Previously I’ve done independent small things. Supporting best-friend type roles.
“I’m not totally naked in this, although I have been before in films. I’m not shy. I love acting. I’m passionate about what I do. I don’t mind nudity, but that’s not in this movie, although there are sex scenes. Had I been naked, the body makeup would be mostly to cover up blemishes. Since we shot in summer, I’d have needed so much, I’d have sweated it all off.
“Right from this I went into Woody Allen’s new movie, which filmed in Rome. I was alone. I rewarded myself by nonstop eating. Big breakfasts every day. Chocolates and my favorite nut-flavored gelato. And I loved truffles. I got so fat. I don’t know how I got that fat off. I only know I had to exercise every day.”
Greta wore a tight Moschino sheath. Like really tight. She kept tugging it down off curves that hadn’t yet exercised away. The white sheath was accessorized with black stilettos and a red clutch which, Kate Middleton-style, she clutched with both hands in front of her.
“I live in Chinatown above a restaurant, and I love that food, which means I enjoy too much dim sum. I’m still in the situation where I live with a roommate. We order takeout, and the delivery boy trudges to our fourth-floor walk-up.
“I’m moving next month. I want to live in Brooklyn. I love Brooklyn. The houses are lower, and there’s more space. I lived there after college. I’m used to it. And now I’ll finally be able to afford it.”
SUMMER social rules:
* No lemon slices in your iced tea. Possible bacteria on the peel.
* No sitting on a hotel bedspread. Who knows what happened on it?
* No shaking hands with your driver. Main habit driving alone is picking at one’s nose.
* No snacking. Think of trans fats, pounds of gluten or consuming insect parts.
* No touching a lady’s handbag. It might’ve sat on a bathroom floor.
* No cancer-causing deodorants, even if you reek like a buffalo.
* No licking envelopes on thank-you cards. Use a sponge. Be aware of rat poo.
* Scrub the top of every can you open.
* Leaving a gas station for five minutes? Have your car watched. A serial killer could inhabit the back seat.
* Sitting down at a cinema, you could be pricked by an infected needle.
* Coins dropped in a parking lot might’ve been placed by a sex molester waiting to grab you as you stoop to get it.
KIRSTEN Dunst: “Once people would come over and think I’m Reese Witherspoon.” . . . Leelee Sobieski: “I’m used to being told, ‘You look just like Helen Hunt.’ ” . . . Robert Duvall: “With fans I usually smile except when they say, ‘Mr. Hackman, I always enjoy your work.’ ” . . . Rachel Griffiths: “Moviegoers confuse me with Juliette Lewis.”
Kevin Bacon: “Worst is somebody shouting: ‘Hey, Christian Slater . . . what were you in?’ I answer, ‘Like 50-something movies.’ ”. . . Matt Damon: “In Italy, schoolgirls thought I was DiCaprio, so I signed his name in autographs.” . . . Once at the Grammys, Glen Campbell said to Phil Collins: “Hi, Elton.” . . . Matthew McConaughey: “I’ve been mistaken for Woody Harrelson.”
Chloë Sevigny: “I can’t stand bastards who call me Claire like I’m Claire Danes. Happens all the time.” . . . Nathan Lane: “Someone on the street thought I’m this huge tall Hank Azaria, while I’m short and small. It was the first time I gained a foot in height.” . . . Liam Neeson: “A lady asked me, ‘When you did “The English Patient,” was it very hard?’ That was embarrassing. I couldn’t wait to tell Ralph Fiennes.”
Ben Affleck and brother Casey partied in Manhattan with former Ranger captain Mark Messier until the wee hours. At the end, Affleck said: “It’s really cool to hang out with Bono.” . . . At the Golden Gloves gym Mike Tyson thought Meg Ryan — and why she was there, I have no idea — was Melanie Griffith . . . So Kirk Douglas, watching an old movie of his on TV, couldn’t remember making it. Staring carefully he realized it’s his son Michael Douglas.
Adam Arkin at the Emmys. A fotog’s yelling: “George, George.” Adam said: “My name is not George, OK?” And the guy says, “Ohhh, excuuuse me, MisterClooney!” . . . Renée Zellweger: “I keep hearing I’m pop singer Jewel. One waitress added: ‘Your lyrics are so good, Jewel.’ I said, ‘Oh, thank you. That means so much.’ ” . . . San Jose Film Festival. An eager fan mistook Gabriel Byrne for Jeremy Irons. Byrne? He “just smiled.”
So in Queens a bus stop sign read: “No standing.” Like they supply club chairs?
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.Follow @PageSix