DEAR POST MAN

June 10, 2007 -- Dear Post Man:

What’s the best way to come out to my parents?

Long distance.

Kidding. This is a very hard question to answer because I have no knowledge of your age and family dynamic. But here are a few things to think about:

• Are you ready? It’s a big step, and the surer of yourself you are, the more positive the news will be to your parents.
• Do you think it’s going to be a big surprise? Be honest. Do you think they already know?
• Are your parents overtly homophobic? Do they have any close friends that are gay? And how do your parents perceive their lives? It’s a good thing to have in your back pocket when the discussion starts.
• I don’t know where you are from. Small town or big city? If religion plays a big part in your lives, these are issues you need to consider as you go into the discussion. They should not be deterrents, but aspects of your parents’ mentality you will have to confront.
• Finally, why are you telling them? The better the place you are coming from, the better the reception is going to be. If you are telling them out of anger, because you want to shock them, then you are going to produce that kind of result.

If you go to your parents wanting them to know the real you, and not just a part of you, than you are going into this conversation with a lot of love for them, and for yourself. Sure it’s overwhelming and most likely won’t be tied up in a neat little package after you are done. But if your intentions are good, and your belief in yourself strong, you should get through this okay. I hope this helps. And PLEASE write me back and let me know how it went. I have my fingers crossed for you.

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